The suspense is likely too much....
Wendesday night: Child comes down with fever.
Friday, out drinking and carousing after work, happen across male keeper of viral vector. Wag my finger at him and say "I'm going to get you! You fucker." Him: "whatever, I'm doing you a favour, educating your child's immune system!" Me: "I'm going to TP your house. You better Watch Your Back!"
Today: Child number two comes down with fever. Tomorrow is a school day. Decided to take the revenge up a notch. Here are my options:
a) just TP his car. that will teach him.
b) throw a burning bag of poop at his front door at 3 am (you know, to mimic my sleepless nights due to sick kids).
c) Slash his tires; or at least flatten one.
d) feed him some botchulism.
e) sneakily piss in his beer.
I say D. But you tell me.
7 comments:
i think you should crufify a dead cat in his front yard. and burn it.
on top of that you should also do option b, also smear shit on the doorhandles of his front, back and car doors.
if your children barf a lot due to sickness, collect the barf and pour into his mailbox.
finally stick a banana or potato into the exhaust pipe of his car.
dear anonymous...you are an angry person. but I do like the idea of a dead animal on his front yard....and shit on his door handles.
you might also consider writing onto his wall or car or whereever suitable in blood, barf or shit: YOU PUT THIS ON YOURSELF!
ps: I am a pretty relaxed person, by the way, and not angry at all. do you think you can get your hands on a skunk? that would open up a whole new list of options. just find something that extends mere physical damage to his things, what you want is a lasting inconvienience (at least) or better annoyance. if you have access to his house, you might consider putting some kitty litter into his toilets. Buahahaha!
Okay I take back "angry" and will go with "creative genius"
You gave him adequate warning. A TP of his entire house is warranted. Who brings a kid with a fever to a party? Fucking selfish if you ask me.
I would have opted for pissing in his beer, but if he was drinking something Canadian, he might not notice. ;)
that's weird...I've only ever heard that about American beers. hmm. Oh wait, maybe that was in reference to how they're like having sex in a canoe: fucking close to water. I think that's an Old Indian Joke.
Thats Dr D Days joke and is soooo true.
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