Friday, May 29, 2009

How to: Be a Winner

1. Be a "good academic" and volunteer to present data (on a poster) at Research Day
2. Be so good show up an entire day early at the wrong place. 
3. Be even better and "plan ahead" by planning to arrive at venue before the conference (at 8 a.m.). Show up at work to pick up poster. Spend 15 minutes walking in circles (and saying Fuck a lot) because poster has vanished. Realize garbage man threw poster away.
4. Be lucky and find garbage man who says: "yeah, I got your poster, but sorry it's a little....mushed." Dig through garbage. Find poster! Unfold and attempt to smooth out poster. Drive to conference. Arrive late.
5. Be a salesman and spend 30 minutes selling my poster (read: not talking about my science but telling my story)
6. Win $500 for "Best Poster."

The moral of the story: you can be an idiot and still be a Winner!!* 


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*There is something so wrong with this world.

2 comments:

Kristen said...

good story!

Heather said...

500 = rented van, 20 lbs of allsorts, 8 bags of chocolate covered pretzels, and 6 tanks of gas. Bring it!