Monday, September 22, 2008

No hyperboles necessary

How to move in 10 easy steps:
1. Decide on Saturday that you'll move on Sunday. Sleep in on Sunday.
2. Drink a quart of coffee, make pancakes, and turn up the Bob Marley tunes.
3. Have a reggae dance party.
4. Finish digging the trench in the backyard. Tap into septic system, create river of sewage in backyard. Give up and Walk Away.
5. Try to eat all the food in fridge for lunch. Discover milk of broccoli cereal is really fucking gross. Wonder why this didn't occur to you before you decided to try to eat it.
6. Miss a boat (first car to NOT get on). 
7. Take a nap.
8. Say fuckit, leave the island house a mess, grab our back packs and catch the next boat. Feel a microsecond of sentiment. Get over it. 
9. Eat out: notice that child number three is only wearing a plaid shirt, diaper, and one rubber boot. Start trashing the joint like rockstars when the food takes one too many minutes to arrive.  
10. Discover: New house has no hot water downstairs, no cold water upstairs, a completely plugged kitchen sink, a layer of drywall dust still on everything, and that Neville has a raging fever. 

Am shocked that my eyes feel they are going to pop right out of my head. Laugh it off. Like a wild animal.

2 comments:

Kristen said...

entertaining as always.

Heather said...

Holy shit. Do I need to change my ticket again? :)