Parental Law # 5

School Picture Day never accidently falls the day After you give your children haircuts.

Today's Motto

"You are NOT AN ANIMAL; pee and poop in the potty!!!"

Me to Lew after his fifth morning in a row of taking off his diaper and peeing and crapping on the floor.

(PS: demanding your child to grow-up does not seem to make them do so.)

How to: Be an awesome parent

1. copy other parents who you think do a better job than you
2. decided that the things you will copy are "scheduled after school activities."
3. sign your kid up for music lessons. at the university. at which they only learn theory. decide being a mean parent is akin to being a good parent.
3. take your kids to "Beavers" (no, this is not about vaginas or wood eating rodents)
4. decide to "opt out" when they have to oath to Love God and we have to pay 300 bucks for them to play freeze tag for an hour
5. tell your oldest son he will learn to play piano
6. sign him up for swimming on saturday mornings
7. make an appointment to talk to some people about karate.
8. look up the youngest age at which children can a) stay home alone and b) learn to drive a car
9. discourage quitting
10. eat chocolate chip squares for supper.

Lifetime motto

There is nothing so useless as doing efficiently that which should not be done at all.

(Brilliant)

How to: Be a Hero?

Get in a fight with the kindergarden teacher over parenting philosophies.

Today's Motto

Color my life with the chaos of trouble.

(and yes, the two are unrelated, but I can't help myself. although they both featured in the movie I watched last night. so yes, this is completely unoriginal. I need a sandwich and a nap.)

How to: Drive a Person Mad

Stand beside them and repeat their name, Over, and Over, and Over, and Over and Over and Over and Over and Over again, in the form of a question. Add a hint of Whine.

(Mommehhh? mommehhhh? mommeehhh? mommehhhh? mommehhh? mommehhh?)

It works, it really does.