1. copy other parents who you think do a better job than you
2. decided that the things you will copy are "scheduled after school activities."
3. sign your kid up for music lessons. at the university. at which they only learn theory. decide being a mean parent is akin to being a good parent.
3. take your kids to "Beavers" (no, this is not about vaginas or wood eating rodents)
4. decide to "opt out" when they have to oath to Love God and we have to pay 300 bucks for them to play freeze tag for an hour
5. tell your oldest son he will learn to play piano
6. sign him up for swimming on saturday mornings
7. make an appointment to talk to some people about karate.
8. look up the youngest age at which children can a) stay home alone and b) learn to drive a car
9. discourage quitting
10. eat chocolate chip squares for supper.
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4 comments:
I like number 10 the best, yum!
the optimal child schedule: monday karate, tuesday piano, wednesday chess club, thursday violin, friday base, basket or football training, saturday morning swimming, sunday off. aim for that, genius parent!
*any activity can be substituted by an equally time and effort consuming one.
You left out the one true awesome parent activity that will nominate you to the parents Hall of Fame - Hockey - just think you could be in the NHL instead of Queens - think about it - eh!!!
She shoots - she scores - sorry we took all that away from you - next time.
Hockey does not exist. Stop perpetuating the lies, Dad. It's just wrong.
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