Sunday, October 4, 2009
Midnight Reflections
Someday, someday soon (so soon i can almost begin to imagine it, or as if it could happen at any moment), I will live a life without diapers. Go a day without touching someone elses' (there are a few of them) poop with my bare hands. Not have to change a poopy diaper half way through a meal and immediately return to eating as if nothing ever happened. Not have to bolt upright in bed at 6:15 when someone says: "Lew took off his diaper!" Not have to freak the fuck out when I discover that we are out of diapers at some terribly inopportune time. Not have to see the food I made yesterday fully undigested and identifiable after it traversed someone else's digestive tract. I am done. I am finished. It's been nearly EIGHT years of 2-5 poopy diaper changes a day. That's a fucking long time. A post-secondary degree's worth of poop time. I'd like my diploma please. And maybe a badge. Definitely someone to make me a sandwich.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
::sigh:: And to think I'm only at the beginning of this journey. Soon enough, I'll have THREE in diapers at once (if Lila continues her potty protest). Ugh.
Come on Lew!
I think three children in diapers at once is illegal. You should inform your oldest of this.
yeah, and you can tell them what kind of money you're spending just because they won't use the bathroom like normal people do..
let's see, 3.5 diapers a day x 365 days a year x 8 years = 10220 diapers. Now divide that by the amount of diapers per pack and multiply the result with the price of one pack and you'll know what kind of money your children owe you.
That's about 4000 bucks I've basically shit on and thrown in the garbage. boo.
Post a Comment