Witness number one (Cousin Heather): "Woman, we are checking you into Candy rehab."
Rebuttal (me): "NO! Look, I can stop whenever I want to...or when the candy is all gone; whatever comes first."
Witness number two-five (pub companions): "Will this nacho-fest tide you over until next week?" And "Wow, you really eat those nachos with a PASSION!"
Rebuttal (me): "hey, hey waiter!! could I get a refill on the salsa and maybe some suicide sauce, god damn I'm hungry! I'm so happy!"
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