Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Managing sleep deprivation 101

Today is a work day and I feel totally wrecked. I intended to wake up super early, work for an hour, then drive to the boat and work super hard all day long. Only problem: I'm so tired I can't focus my eyes enough to read. This isn't from my children. Sadly, this is just me, insomniac-ing in the night. It has made me think of how I've managed to get through the last five sleepless years. I will share with you my hard learned tips and misc. tidbits:

1. Pretend you are not extraordinarly sleep deprived. The kids don't care that you're exhausted. Just take the word "tired" right out of your vocabulary. While your at it, eliminate the word "sleep" too. Didn't you hear, sleep is for pansies. Eventually you'll forget that this is something that you used to do.

2. Ingest caffeine. Multiple times a day. Figure out how you like to get yours: chocolate? coffee? pop? Coffee grinds in your eye? Yes please. Ingest within 5 seconds of getting up in the morning with a mitt-full of pain-killers. All of a sudden, you'll feel much, much better.

3. Trade off on the weekends: Saturday you sleep in, Sunday, the other parent sleeps in. Redefine "sleeping in" to mean 7am.

4. Go to bed at 9pm. Yeah right. Sorry, that was a bad joke.

5. Never, Ever sit down. You'll realize how tired you are and not be able to get up, and/or may fall asleep.

6. Playdates with other sleep-deprived parents. Being around grown-ups is a great way to distract yourself from the sheer and overwhelming exhaustion. Time goes much faster when spent with adults.

7. Stay away from people who have the luxury to take naps, sleep in, and who say they are tired a lot. You'll probably start hating them and will possibly say something offensive, damaging your relationship.

8. Limit your multitasking as you are very mistake prone in this state. Example: In the past, I have been super excited waiting for the supper I made to finish cooking in the oven. When I thought it had been in long enough, I went to get it out of the oven. Only problem: I hadn't even put it in yet. Dang.

That's all I've got for now. I'm going to try to take a nap sitting in my chair. I'm sure I can do it.

1 comment:

Kristen said...

Man I hear parents talking all the time about how sleep deprived they are and I believe them! I couldn't take it! I LOVE TO SLEEP. Always have, always will. It's one of my favourite past times. Plop me somewhere in the sun and watch the drool fly! I'm so sorry you aren't able to sleep!!! My mom hasn't slept in like...years - no joke. I only hope it's not hereditary.