How to: Make pizza. 9 easy steps

1. take a marathon nap (3+ hours in several locations). Nap so hard try to nap even harder. Realize napping is costing 13 bucks an hour (babysitter). Stop napping.

2. notice pizza crust. start having magical fantasies about pizza. begin looking for pizza ingredients.

3. stare at canned goods for too long. find: 1 can artichoke hearts. go to corner store.

4. find: 1 bag of BBQ chips, I can tomato paste, and one friend standing on the street corner.

5. invite friend in for beer. drink beer. say goodbye to friend. return to pizza.

6. 1 pizza crust, 1 can tomato paste, dash of oregano, 1 small onion, 1 can artichoke hearts, cheese = PIZZA!

7. practice french. drunk text.

8. Pizza is ready!

9. Eat the entire thing. crack open the chips. figure I must have a tapeworm. Yay! tapeworm!