Sigh. So I weeded it. But I did it in a really mad and angry fashion. And not completely. Cause it's Canada. And I can be an insolent asshole if I want to.
Monday, August 24, 2009
Reason #520
I am a bad person. If reason #519 didn't already cement the truth of this claim (I almost never use a 'reusable container' when I buy coffee) reason #520 put the final nail in my "I'm a terrible citizen" coffin: inadequate lawn care. Some people might think I'm being too hard on myself. Not the City of Kingston. I didn't even notice how unruly and apparently unsightly the weeds of my teeny tiny "lawn" had become until Friday night when I arrived home to find a gigantic pink city slip stuck to the front door outlining my horrific offense: some weeds. OMG: call the poe-lice. My first thought? I'm going to get that son-of-a-bitch who ratted us out. Was it the old people beside us who mow their lawn twice a day and have a pond with live fish? The laundry-mat owner who always offers to take away our leaves and spends a lot of time loitering from across the street? Or our lawyer neighbours who just recently smiled and made friendly small talk (back stabbing mother fuckers)? I'm so glad that my tax dollars go toward some asshole walking around making subjective opinions about my lawn. These are important matters after all. Right up there with AIDS and scabies outbreaks.
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3 comments:
You need to NOT weed. I hate stupid antequated 'you had better have a pretty manicured lawn or else' kind of shit. Unless your lawn is a death trap, you should be able to do whatever you want! I've lived at my house for nearly 10 years and we've mowed the lawn maybe 5 times. MAYBE! We are considering a mower next year so that we don't lose Sophie, but still, it sucks you need to conform!!!!!!
Just put there a tin can with a small opening at the top and a sign that says: "Dear City of Kingston, weed-offended citizen, wondering by-passer, this lawn is an art project. Every plant you see here is here on purpose and cannot be removed, replaced or otherwise altered. Thank you for your appreciation. Please prescind from annoying me with pink slips, instead consider a small donation to my artwork. Thank you very much, the owner of this house"
I guess its just one of the percs of living in town - go for a junk car on blocks - that always brings em runnin!!!!
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