Behaviours I've had enough of:
1. Screaming: Frustration screaming. Deafen you in one ear cause you've thrown them over your shoulder to save their lives screaming. Silence a party while everyone turns to you and your wild out of control child screaming. Everything is mine don't touch it screaming. I want everything that you have screaming. Life is so unfair I think I'm dying/you're murdering me screaming.
2. Compulsive coloring: With anything on anything. Pen/marker/pencil vigilance is at its all time high. On our newly painted walls and couch with permanent marker hurt me the most.
3. Constant spills of all liquids during each meal.
4. Diapers: the diaper change and how the desire to get it done rests only with me. The constant striping of ones clothes followed by diaper and if I'm lucky, oh if I'm lucky, poop smearing. His recent habit of taking his clothes/diaper off during the night and peeing all over his bedding. So charming.
5. The trashing. His ability to empty all containers (schoolbags, purses, clean laundry hampers) and hide their contents. His little fingers are excellent at opening zippers.
6. The wrestle: to dress, diaper change, shoe, car seat this toddler; the unwilling I've-got-a-wasting-muscle-disease-and-am-totally-limp collapse; The "I Refuse to DO THAT cause I've Noticed you're Arms are TOO Full to Drag Me" Tantrum.
7. Trouble making: his near-genius ability to find Trouble in any room and Get Into It. Thus the need for constant shadowing and limited blinking.
8. Complete lack of rational. There is no explaining to these humans, no "don't you understand? If you eat/do that you'll get worms/AIDS/killed!"
9. Food all over the house. It's as if he's leaving a trail to find his way home.
10. Assholes who comment: "you'll miss this, Believe ME, you will" (Living with an insane terrorist on speed? Just watch me not)
Right now the little wildabeast is eating a slab of dark chocolate.
Sigh.
Only one year to go.
6 comments:
Oh my, is this what I'm in for in having a boy? Don't scare me!
Nah: I think you have to be the youngest of three brothers.
And I was just thinking I wanted a family....hahahaha! Dodged that bullet...again.
No, you WON'T miss this. I'll take teenager over toddler any day!
Same here, my daughter gets into everything, and when you are in one room cleaning up, she is in the other room emptying the dresser. My pre-teen daughter is a pain, but I would take her crap over babysitting...
I like playing games, and when I am having fun with games, my kid LOVES to sit in my lap and then I die. (in the game) ;)
Post a Comment