An Open Letter To Daylight Savings

This happens every year: I get used to waking up at dawn, start to like it even, look forward to continuing doing it, get used to having so much awake time in the mornings to get shit done and then BHAM! You Jerk. You mug me in the night and leave me for dead and I wake up feeling like I've slept in a gutter after having passed out from a brutal beating (although I think my exact words this morning on the telephone with my mother were: "it feels my my head has been kicked in and someone took a shit in my eye." Sorry Mom.). And I never see it coming. Someone told me at 10 pm last night "don't forget, we lose an hour!" and I was all "WHAT? THE? Fuck. Shit. GodDamn!" It takes me around two months for my body to figure out this loss of time. So long barf-free early morning work outs. So long relatively pleasant early morning me. Oh, and the children! I haven't forgotten the children. I just don't want to talk about it. That's it. I'm moving to Saskatchewan.