That being said: fuck you and all your fucking bacteria and viruses (virum, vira? I only got a pity B+ in latin remember). I know that some of them are "good" and "keep us alive" but all those asshole ones? Yeah, the gastrointestinal ones? Don't look so innocent and beautiful world. You know what I'm talking about. The ones that make my kid barf all over everyone five minutes before he is to be picked up from daycare? Just in time for the workers to see and ban me and my kid for TWO DAYS? (Two fully paid for non-refundable days.) Not to mention, the complete and near absolute probability that I too will be barfing exactly when I plan on taking myself to Montreal for a roller derby funtastic bonanza with my brother? Yeah those ones: can suck it. I know I'm sounding a little hostile and angry with you world, for inventing and mutating such things on a constant basis, but really? Two goes in one year? Sigh. Thanks. Thanks a lot. I hope all of your volcanoes erupt at the same time, your oceans boil and your ice caps COMPLETELY melt. So there, HA HA, Look who'll be laughing then!
e.l.s
3 comments:
Dear World,
Please let Emily's child have contracted his terrible barfing disease AFTER he came to visit us. Not that I'm happy he and the rest of his household are/will be vomiting their faces off. But World, is it really necessary to make an international incident out of it?
Sincerely,
Me
I think he forced himself to barf so that he could spend more time with me. He is not sick. At all.
Thank god!
Post a Comment