Sometimes things are too funny

1. plan a random trip to paris. random volcano erupts. laugh when all the planes are grounded and airspace around the world is closed down.

2. forget to renew plates on the car. laugh when the owner is pulled over and also has an expired driver's license and insurance.

3. wake up at five:45 a.m. to a savage almost-four-year-old wearing a sagging diaper, a barky stick between his teeth, yelling and grunting like a wild animal.

4. register 62 woman for a roller derby league. with zero knowledge of how to run such a thing. ha. haha. Practice #1: the day I'm supposed to fly to Paris. Plan to have future me figure that shit out.

5. walk home with an arm full of wine and think: I really want to get drunk with myself tonight. proceed to do so. enjoy it. fully. cause really if you can't have a good time hanging out with yourself, what's the point.

Happenings

Dex turns Eight! Personal epiphany: Only old people have eight year olds. To celebrate I introduced Cream Soda to him and his eight friends while they double-fisted cake and cheesies. "It tastes like Heaven!" they exclaimed, with the enthusiasm of a yet-to-be addict's first hit of heroin. I was going to pour it over ice cream and introduce them to "Floats" but I thought I'd save that trick for when Dex turns Nine. Maybe I'll need a walker by then.

Things Found

This! Listen. It's lovely.

On Not Being Jewish

Today I am making Brisket in some sort of homage to Easter. Or Passover. Not sure. Gotta work on this ignorance thing.

Beer. Lawn chair. Pavement. Lew.

Right NOW

Dex is reading aloud to his two brothers and his best friend. I think I feel: Pride. Could be gas.

MIA

When I had resurfaced someone asked: "where the hell have you been?"

The short answer is: here!

Obviously.

But that's no fun. So, What Have I been Up To?

1. doing science: talking science, writing science, planing science, brown nosing with science, getting a little beaten up and raped by science.

2. sleeping: sometime for many hours in a row

3. planning: the first season of roller derby, Paris 2010, Burning Man, what I'm going to wear to other peoples' weddings

4. inventing: working on a "hand-job machine" for less than 50 bucks to give as a gift.

4. socializing (aka, drinking)

5. trying to get my hair cut

6. trying to grow it out long

7. trying not to do anything rash and irrational

8. wondering if lew will EVER FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING HOLY be toilet trained. sheesh.

9. Once I was hung over.

10. looking for the perfect pair of jeggings.

11. and sometimes, just hiding.