Postcards from my vacation

Dear _______,
I'm having a lovely vacation here on the fourth floor of Crainy Hall. Everyday is very comfortable: weather never happens (it is climate controlled and there are no windows), there are no people as this is not a well known vacation destination, and the sensory deprivation room (the back office) is Perfect for long afternoon naps, as long as the chairs don't drift too far apart. Yesterday I ate all of the left over food in the communal fridge (thanks Stu for the 5 day old perogies!) so even my "dining" costs have been kept to a minimum. I've been working on my abilities to pass the day away and accomplish Absolutely Nothing. Thursday was a record setter when I actually decided I was too disinterested to use the bathroom! That was a good day. I will be bringing you some lovely trinkets: a bag of dried rat shit, some bloody syringes, and a pile of used paper towel. You can thank me later!

Well, just wanted to let you know that Yes, I'm still alive but I've been away. On my vacation. I'll be back sometime next week. I hope.

later skater.
e

Nova Scotia in the summertime

5 things I learned on my NS wedding journey:
1. I can sleep for 3 hours and then drive for 16
2. That I can talk non-stop for 12 hours
3. That my crazy amount of energy/mania is most certainly inherited (from my grandpop to my mother to me)
4. My family can throw a mean party (some said NS was better than Amsterdam)
5. There are three kinds of biting bugs in NS at the end of July: no-see-ems/mosquitoes/deer flies

5 things I did on my NS wedding journey:
1. Made a wedding cake (who knew I could do that)
2. Climbed a waterfall, stared at the starry sky
3. swam naked
4. had a spoon fight
5. slept on the floor, in a Uni dorm, and sometimes, if I was lucky, a bed

5 things I ate on my NS wedding journey:
1. donair pizza!
2. lobster
3. poutine
4. schnitzel
5. HAM (thanks Pop)

Word of the day

Banannibalism: bananas, eating bananas.

In a sentence: "Where did all the bananas go? Must be those banannibalistic bananas again!"

(seriously, my kids eat too many bananas)

On a parenting note: Is it wrong that my six year old knows about cannibalism? And that we made a joke about it? And laughed. A lot?

I'm going to make some very strange people. At least I'll finally have some company.

Beachtastic

A bonus of island living.

Our new house: 110 Earl Street

STATS
Occupancy date: September-ish
Number of floors: 3
Size of backyard: post-it note;
Distance from school/work/downtown: five minute walk, 2 second sprint, 10 minute messy drunken stagger.
Amount of renovations: I don't want to talk about it; it makes my nose bleed.
Number of tricks I need to turn to pay for renovations: 15,000, give or take (however you like it, baby).
Number of future spontaneous events that will occur: hundreds! millions!
Number of ferries needed to take to get home: ZERO
Number of coffees I've had today: 3
Are we selling our island house? No. Although talk on the street says yes.
Are we OUT OF OUR FREAKING MINDS? Most certainly. Have we met?
Am I pregnant? Hahahahaahaahahaa. ahhhhhh. NO
Will we rent our island place? only to people who can pooh gold bars and play banjos. We also have a preference for people with hermaphraditic pets. Please put the word out!
Do we need furniture? Peshaw: furniture is for babies and communists.
Am I stressed? No, cause all I think about are rainbows and unicorns.

From the street

The backyard: just the way I like it, paved! Lawns are for sissies.

Fabulous Lew

Lew in all his sweetness:



Lew in all his naughtiness:

The puddle visibly shrank as Lew's diaper soaked up the water.

When my kids get thirsty I send them to the "drinking hole."

Caught red-handed helping himself to water melon.

Dreaded transition # 100

When the two year old learns to get our of their crib.

Thus begins the two or three (crap it could eight this time) weeks of 2 hour nightly struggle.

Wish me luck.

And patience.

And a steady supply of post-bedtime alcohol.