Things re-found

Five Days in July

Current Kick

Hats!

Hat picked by: Nev and Lew while grocery shopping. Face: by me.

Things I love/hate

My cousin and I used to do this in our letters of love and longing. 

THINGS  I LOVE:

physical exhaustion, voracious reading of books, listening to the rain, sleeping without dreams, nice pens, brunch, last minutes, long solo drives on familiar roads, burying myself deeply in bed, water, the future, shooting the shit, kicks, real life surprises, being fucking weird, escaping, climbing trees, chain smoking, staring at the sky, 11:11, managing my monies, changing the rules, spring, deep night, cake, sleeping in, slowly drinking coffee, the saturday paper, abstract concepts, naps, being lost, beers and nachos and wings, a good story, floating in the bathtub, freshly cut finger nails, forehead kisses, my hat, silliness.       

THINGS THAT UPSET ME:

the words turd (100%), anywho(90%), whatnot(40%). Quitting. just missing the bus (i.e.: disappointments). Not sleeping. Self imposed insanity. routine. pointlessness. fools. complainers. myself. worrying. bragging. without social grace. micro-management. advice. gum stealers. closing the bathroom door when I shower. dealings before 9 a.m. screaming. plans. the wind. socks. 

A brief letter to my Cousin

Dear Cousin,

You must stop trying to die.

We (your family) won't have any of it.

We insist you get out of intensive care.

So you can have chemo.

And live for 60 more years.

We will except nothing less.

Your Very Serious and Older and Wiser Cousin,

e.l.s.

(PS: heads up universe, make way)

A brief letter to my Mother

Dear Mother,

If you die of a heart attack* shopping this Black Friday, I will be pissed. Just so you know. (But make sure you keep the receipts for everything you buy so if in the event of a fatale MI, I can return the stuff and get things for me--or just take the cash.)

Love, Your Caring Daughter

e.l.s.

______________________

*my mother was released from the hospital TODAY for chest pain (on an arsenal of don't-die-now drugs), so she can go to Maine tomorrow for American TG which really is all about: Shopping the outlets--sometimes I think we are related.

Things Found

Man (vascular surgeon) finds cure for wife's MS. Best Love Story Ever?

Current Kicks (updated!)*

1. reading before bed (Lady Chatterley's Lover)

2. a good night's sleep. (=seven hours and no night time roaming the house)

3. And bigger boobs (a full A cup! maybe). I hope I'm not dying.

*4 diet ginger-ale.

(I actually feel pretty good, well, except for the seething rage.)

Conversations

While coming home from white hot chocolate on a Sunday afternoon:

Dexter: I've been thinking a lot about dying lately.

Me: oh? and what were you thinking?

Dexter: what it feels like.

Me: while, I don't know what it feels like. I've never died before.

Dexter: well duh, you're standing right here!

(Neville snickers)

Me: I was making a joke hahahaaaaaa....So what do you think it feels like?

Dexter: like slowing becoming someone else.

Me: So you think we live again?

Dexter: yeah, the next generation is us after we die.

Me: Well, my little Buddha, that is called reincarnation.

Dexter: Well that's what I believe in. Can I play on the computer when I get home?

Conversations

Telephone rings.

Me: hello?

Phone: hello? hello mommy??

Me: yes? 

Phone: I was wondering if I could have a brownie??

Me: well, dinner is almost ready but yeah, sure go a......

Phone: eruptions of screaming excitement from children too numerous to count.

Line goes dead.

Nightmare #389

Last night I dreamed I was super pregnant. And like any horrific nightmare, I got my logical brain involved, rationed how it was impossible, and that when I woke up (and please woman, open your eyes, open your eyes!) I would not be pregnant. 

But the thought of going through another childbirth and toddlerhood is still haunting me. 

I still remember

I'd have gone wherever you wanted.

Conversations

Duncan: "I love you Lewis."

Lewis: "I love daycare."

Halloween 2009

(The constant smell of candy on their breath is making me want to barf...)

Dexter

Boys in battle-mode

Lew's costume of his own creation.